


Making it right

by I_Reject_Reality



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Needs a Hug, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Reject_Reality/pseuds/I_Reject_Reality
Summary: 2x06 Fix it, This fix it for anyone that was not a fan of the threesome and would have liked to see it go a different way, say a more ,,,,, Malex way!!I wouldn't say it was Maria bashing as such but shes not exactly a hero either!!
Relationships: Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 24
Kudos: 233





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, eek i'm nervous. I legit haven't written any fan fiction in like over 3 year and never really planned to again but god i needed to fix that threesome scene. I get we are mixed in our feelings about it in the fandom but i really didn't like it which is why this happened.  
> Like I said, I haven't written in ages so i have no idea if this is any good or not, if people like it i may write the morning after as a second part.  
> Leave me a comment or kudo if you would be so kind so i know i'm not boring people or come chat to me on Twitter about this or all things Malex it’s @OriginalGroupi. Ill even take one shot requests if you ask nicely.  
> Thanks to my bestie Sarah for betaing me and convincing me to submit it (if its crap i take that back lol)

“What are we doing?”

Michael uttered the words carefully into the silence of the airstream trying to grasp the sudden change in atmosphere, he looked down at Maria’s hand in his wondering if this was really going the way it looked like it was going? To say he was surprised would be an understatement, perplexed would be closer, with a heavy dose of wary. 

Was this a trap?

Maybe it was his trust issues doing the talking right now, but Michael couldn’t help but wonder in some corner of his mind if this was Maria’s way of testing his left-over feelings for Alex.

“It’s ok.”

She whispered and he let her tug him to sit down between her and Alex. 

Not his imagination then, it looked like Maria was really proposing they do this. Michael prided himself on being a very open-minded man especially when it came to sex but the prospect of doing this was kind of blowing his mind. Even as Maria kissed him and he kissed her back his thoughts kept turning over in his mind, what if this was a line that once crossed, they could never come back from? 

That is until he felt an achingly familiar brush of fingers against his wrist and he reached out blindly behind him until he could grasp Alex's hand in his. The hand squeezed tight and that was all it took for all logical thoughts of why they should not do this to fly out of his brain. 

The hand tugged, a silent demand that he followed without question as always, turning and slamming his mouth against Alex’s. 

He heard Alex small whimper at the contact, and he moaned in response, hoping that Maria had not heard and registered that that was not a response he had ever had from kissing her. 

It was unfair how right this felt. 

Alex's hand had come up to grasp the back of his neck, like he was willing him to stay with him and in that moment as their mouths moved together in perfect sync, he really wanted to. That feeling got even stronger as Alex’s other hand reached under the hem of his T shirt to lightly stroke his stomach. 

The feel of the softer hand against the back of his shoulder reminded him that he and Alex were not alone, there was someone else in this scenario he was meant to be giving equal attention to.

Alex took hold of the bottom of his shirt and tugged it up, Maria assisting him by pulling the other side. His lips reluctantly left Alex’s as he raised his arms and allowed the two to remove his shirt.

His instinct was to go back to Alex but Maria grabbed him by the back of the neck and tugged him towards her so he kissed her, trying to put his full attention into it. It’s not that kissing her felt bad, she was a beautiful woman and there was obviously an attraction there.

It just....... lacked the fire that was always there when he kissed Alex. 

Now he was kissing Maria again he remembered why this was likely a bad idea, he had made up his mind to try to make a relationship with Maria work because despite how amazing it felt to be with Alex, they just couldn’t seem to stop hurting each other. Michael had decided to try and break that cycle and move on.

But as this little adventure was proving it wasn’t the best way to move on, because it was becoming achingly clear where his true feelings lay. 

The logical part of Michael’s brain was telling him he needed to stop this before it went any further, before relationships got altered in a way that could not be reversed.  
That feeling may have won if it hadn't been for Alex's hand suddenly tracing over his shoulder blades, a gentle caress that left fire in its wake. That fire burned hotter still when Alex replaced his fingers with his lips, following the same path. Michael whimpered at the feeling and Maria made a happy sound in the back of her throat, obviously thinking she had pulled the sound out of him. Michael felt a small pang of guilt which disappeared as quickly as it came when he felt the brush of Alex’s tongue against his skin. 

Michael’s resolve to allow Maria and Alex to control the situation crumbled and he ripped his lips off of Maria’s and turned to take Alex into his arms. He tried not to dwell on the fact he seemed to forget why this was a bad idea whenever he kissed Alex, if he did, he may have to seriously examine the stark difference between his feelings for Maria and the deep connection he felt with Alex. 

Instead he focused on Alex's lips on his, the tip of his tongue tracing the seam of his lips and his hand on the small of his back pressing him closer. His own hands found Alex's hips and he was just about to tug him up and on to his lap when he felt Maria's sharp tug on his arm demanding his attention be on her now. 

Michael felt a pang of shame at how annoyed he felt at that. 

Still he went to her and allowed her to pull him down on the bed as she claimed his lips at the same time, he felt Alex fall with them pressing hungry kisses against his back. Michael relaxed into the kiss but only really allowed himself to focus on what Alex was doing, which was likely why he felt the distinctive tense of Alex's body.

He didn’t like the feeling so he turned over to see if Alex was ok. He didn’t get the chance to assess the situation though, because as soon as he turned Alex was on him, mouth claimed his in a kiss that boarded on desperate, tongue plunging into his mouth and tangling with his as his hands tangled in his hair. 

Alex certainly felt relaxed now, in fact he almost felt like liquid in his arms. They may not be good at communicating verbally, but they were always good at this. 

His hand trailed down Alex's thigh, hooking under his knee and pulling his thigh over his hip. Alex let out a gasp against his mouth and rocked forward searching for some friction, which Michael gladly gave him, hiking his leg up higher on his hip and pulling him closer. 

He was getting lost, if it wasn’t for the fact Maria was pressing open mouthed kisses to the back of his neck, he could easily believe it was just him and Alex. He could totally get lost in this feeling; he had many times in the past. There was a time that being in Alex’s arms was the only place he could get lost and forget how crappy the world had been to him. 

That’s until he felt Alex shudder, he had been intimate with Alex enough to know every reaction. They were so in tune with each other that they knew the other's bodies like they had each been issued a road map to the others at birth. and this particular reaction was not something he had ever felt from Alex when they were together. He had felt him shake, tremble, hell even spasm in pleasure, but never had he felt him shudder, it in no way felt like a reaction to enjoyment. 

Michael was worried it was a reaction to pain, hell the guy had not a couple of hours before been stabbed in the chest. The reminder made Michael's stomach twist, it was so close to Alex's heart and the mere thought of what could have been made him want to both vomit and smash every single breakable object in Roswell. 

Michael was trying to be careful with Alex but had he accidentally pressed on his wound?

He pulled back, needing to make sure Alex was ok. He found he didn’t get very far though, as Alex let out a whimper and chased his lips connecting them again.  
Michael was getting more and more confused, Alex was currently nibbling on his bottom lip and rocking against him, nothing about him currently suggested he was in any pain or was not enjoying himself. 

So, what was that earlier?

Michael decided to put it down to his imagination or more Alex decided for him when he attached his lips to his neck and began to suck while he felt Maria’s hand begin to work on his belt buckle. Mission accomplished on his buckle Michael felt Maria’s hand trail down his arm and brush against his hand.

That's when he felt Alex shudder again, this time even harder. There was no denying it this time and suddenly the reason why hit Michael like a bolt of lightning. 

Maria’s hand had brushed against Michael's hand, the hand currently grasping Alex's thigh. 

The shudder was Alex reacting to Maria touching him. 

That’s all it took for Michael to pull away, Alex once again tried to follow him but he placed his hands on either side of Alex's neck and held firmly to stop him going any further.  
Alex's eyes remained downcast making it impossible for Michael to get a true picture of what he was feeling. Michael slid one hand up to grasp Alex’s chin, firmly pushing up until his brown eyes met his. 

His heart broke at what he saw. 

Alex's eyes were glassy, filled with pain and confusion and a touch of pleading, whether he was pleading for Michael to carry on or stop he wasn’t sure, but he knew which he could live with easier if he got it wrong. 

No way were they doing this if there was even a single shred of doubt in Alex mind and from the look of him there were a lot more than a shred. 

Michael became even more sure when he saw the tear slip down Alex cheek. He felt a twist in his heart and the overwhelming urge to take the pain he saw in those beautiful eyes away. He didn’t know how to fully do that but he started by swiping the fallen tear away with his thumb.

Oh baby, I'm so sorry.

He said silently.

It’s ok, i'll fix it. 

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Alex's forehead, hoping to purvey his silent promise to him.

He allowed himself one last beat of contact with Alex, his lips lingering against his skin.

Just as he felt Maria’s hand reach the front of his jeans, he quickly sprung off the bed.

He heard Maria’s gasp of surprise and she may have attempted to reach for him, however he was halfway across the room before she made contact. 

“We can't do this.”

He spoke the words into the silence of the airstream, his eyes looking anywhere other than the small bed.

“What, why?”

Maria’s voice was laced with confusion, hurt and the slight hint of annoyance. Michael risked a glance in her direction but his eyes only focused on Alex, his eyes were downcast towards the floor, his hair falling over them making it impossible to get a true reading of his emotions, but the tense set of his shoulders told him all he needed to know. 

“It’s just not a good idea, ok?”

He spoke the words firmly hoping that his tone left no room for argument. That hope was dashed when he heard Maria speak again. 

“Michael, it's ok......”

Michael took a deep breath trying to keep hold of his annoyance. Annoyance that Maria was trying to push this when he was making it clear it wasn’t going to happen and that she wasn’t listening to him, but most of all annoyed, no downright pissed, that she had not noticed or even glanced at her best friend who was currently looking like he may either bolt from the room or curl up in ball and sob. 

Michael had never hated himself more than he had in that moment, how had he thought even for a second that this was a good idea? Then it hit him, he never thought it was a good idea, he never got to that point because he was so surprised by the fact that it was happening at all that his brain hadn't had time to process why it was wrong before it was already happening. Then Alex had kissed him and he forgot everything other than how good to touch him in this way after so long. 

“It’s not going to happen, it’s not a line we can cross.”

Michael tried to busy himself as he spoke by picking his shirt from the floor and putting it back on, hoping having something else to focus on would help to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he spoke. 

“Michael......”

“Maria.”

His voice was sharp and harsh in the airstream as he whipped round to face her, he noticed that it had made both Maria and Alex jump, however he found he only felt regret about one of those. He continued, hoping to finally make it clear to Maria that they would not be doing this.

“What part of no are you not getting right now? This isn't some guy we picked up in a bar who we can experiment with then just send him on his way in the morning and get on with our life's like it meant nothing. Me and him have history, a long, complicated, painful history which we are just starting to get our heads around and I'm not fucking up the progress me and him have made on an adrenaline fuelled romp that’s just going to make us all feel awkward and leave him feeling like crap when he has to walk away in the morning.”

Maria reeled back like she had been slapped; her mouth snapping closed putting a stop to whatever argument she was planning. She looked hurt and Michael felt a pang of regret, he didn’t want to hurt her but he needed her to see he could not be convinced into this.

He risked a glance towards Alex, his eyes were still cast down like he couldn’t bear the thought of looking at either him or Maria and Michael felt his gut twist. He took a deep breath before speaking to Maria in a softer but still firm voice. 

“I’m going to take Alex home; we can talk when I get back.”

The message behind his words were clear and he saw Maria take a deep shuddering breath in response as he continued. 

“Will you be ok or do you want me to call Liz or Izzy to come and stay with you while I'm gone?”

Maria’s voice was small as she answered him.  
“No, I'll be ok.”

She didn’t sound too sure about that but if Michael was honest, he couldn’t care enough to challenge it, yet another nail in the coffin of their relationship it seemed. 

He slowly walked over to Alex so not to startle him, stopping in front of him.  
“Alex.”

He stated softly.

Alex took a shaky breath and raised his head to meet Michaels eyes. He took in Alex wet lashes and pained expression and his hate for himself increased tenfold. He was done with making Alex look like that, he had been responsible for that heartbroken look, those tears too often and he made a silent vow that it would never happen again. 

“Come on I'll take you home.”  
***  
The silence in the truck was deafening. Alex hadn't spoken a word since they had left the airstream, even then all he had managed was a horse whisper of goodbye in Maria’s direction. Michael didn’t know how to break the silence, what would he even say? He kept rolling over different words in his head on how to start all with the same intent. 

I'm sorry I let it go that far Alex, I should have noticed sooner that you wanted out. 

He took a deep breath figuring there was no easy way to breach the subject so he may as well just dive in when Alex voice, soft and small stopped him. 

“I’m sorry.”

The words were the exact ones he was about to utter but they died on his lips as confusion clouded his mind. Those words had no business coming from Alex's mouth. He took his eyes off the dark, abandoned road for a second to steal a glance at Alex. It didn’t do any good, Alex was turned away from him and it was dark enough in the truck to completely hide the emotions on his face. 

“What could you possibly have to be sorry for Alex?”

He asked gently, Alex was the very last person at fault in this situation. Still Alex took a deep breath and answered his voice still small. 

“I should have left the first time I said it, I shouldn’t have let it get that far, I gave you both mixed signals by not stopping and then I still didn’t have the balls to stop it, you had to do it and now it's going to cause problems between you and Maria. “

That was the last straw. 

Michael jerked the wheel of the truck pulling up on the side of the empty road, he needed his whole concentration for this. He spoke carefully. 

“Alex. please tell me you're not apologising for not having sex when you clearly didn’t want to?”

Nothing but silence answered so he took a deep breath and continued. 

“Look, you have nothing to apologise for ok? This is my fault I should have checked you were comfortable before it got that far I just....... got swept up in it all.”

“I’m a big boy Guerin, and I have the ability to get up and walk away and I didn’t”

The words were so self-deprecating, it reminded Michael of the time he handed him the piece of his spaceship console, so ashamed of himself for not giving it to him sooner and so willing to be blamed for every single wrong his family had done to him. Michael had let him that day, lost in his own confusion. He should have stopped him leaving until he had drilled it into him that it wasn’t his burden to bear. Although it may be true that Manes men had caused him a lot of pain and loss in his life, there was one who had been the source of the greatest joy he had felt in his life. That was the bottom line that he had lost sight of in his grief over losing Max and his mother, the fact that with all the pain loving Alex has caused him, the good times and the unwavering bond between them made every second worth it. 

“Why didn’t you then?” 

He said the words carefully between them, Alex’s eyes shot up to his and a brief look of guilt passed through his brown eyes. Michael quickly continued not wanting Alex’s mind to go where it was clearly going. 

“I’m not judging you Alex, I'm asking because I think it's important. You were about to engage in a sexual encounter you clearly didn’t want to be a part of, now I know you and I know your body, more to the point I know your body during sex so I was able to spot you wasn’t fully into it but if it was someone else........”

He trailed off because he didn’t like this train of thought, both Alex being with someone else like that and Alex being taken advantage of. Alex remained silent and Michael thought he wasn’t going to get an answer until he heard his muttered response. 

“It’s pathetic.”

“Well I doubt that.”

Michael stated, his voice light in an attempt to put Alex more at ease. He was hoping humour would coax the truth out of him. 

“And even if it was, well you're in luck because pathetic is my middle name.”  
Alex let out a breath, it wasn’t quite a laugh but it was a start. 

“Many words I'd use to describe you Guerin, and that’s not one of them.”

Alex words lifted Michael's heart, that was his Alex, even when he looked like he was about to fall apart he would put that aside to make others feel better. A sudden feeling of intense longing came over him, so intense it was almost tangible. He wanted to take Alex by the hand, tug him into his arms, hold him until they both felt better but he couldn’t, his anger and bitterness had made sure he had lost that right. 

“You’re stalling, Private.”

His voice was gentle with his signature drawl, he hoped that the use of the familiar nickname would put Alex at ease enough to open up to him, remind him of their history and that he could once tell Michael anything. That thought pulled up memories that he had tried so hard to bury, as he attempted his fresh start with Maria, memories of him and Alex fresh faced and 10 years younger whispering hopes, dreams and promises into each other's skin. He was pulled out of his intrusive thoughts by Alex’s deep inhale like he was bracing himself for what he was about to say, Michael took it as his cue to brace himself also. 

“It was a pretty intense night...... and I didn’t want to be alone.”

Michael let out the breath he was holding, turning to Alex as he replied. 

“Alex, we didn’t have to have a threesome for you not to be alone tonight, we could have sat and watched movies, got wasted on tequila, hell even played Monopoly. You not wanting to be alone doesn’t explain why you were about to go through with a threesome you didn’t want to be a part of.”

Alex was quiet for a long time and Michael had almost given up on him answering, his answer was almost a whisper but it held enough impact that if Michael had been standing it would have knocked him off his feet. 

“I wanted to be with you.”

He had barely had time to collect his thoughts when Alex carried on, he spoke quickly like he was worried if he didn’t, he wouldn’t get it all out that he would lose his nerve or worst still Michael would interrupt him. 

“Look I get it, you want to be with Maria, I know you're done with me and I don’t expect anything from you, I really don’t. But you just took the rap for me with Maria even though it made her pissed at you, so I feel I owe you at least an explanation for that. I love Maria and as far as girls go, she's about the best you can get but I just don’t feel comfortable having any girl touch me sexually, hell if I did, I may have saved myself a few beatings growing up. That being said what happened out in that corn field was real horror movie come to life shit. I was scared and in pain and every time I feel either of those things whether it's ten years ago taking a beating from my dad, or laying on a battlefield with my leg blown off, all I want is you. Every time. So, I figured if it was the only way I could have you one last time, I'd take it. I would take anything you were willing to give me....... seems my body had other ideas though because as good as being intimate with you again felt, every time she touched me it felt wrong. I could feel myself digressing back to my scared 16 year old self trying anything to be who dad wanted me to be, and that terrifies me Michael! It fucking scares the shit out of me, just what I'm willing to do to just have you kiss me again.”

Alex’s breathing was harsh when he finished, the only sound that pierced the silence in the truck. Michael was stunned by Alex's confession, it made him speechless and also made tears spring to his eyes because this was the most open Alex had been with him since before he had left for the air force. He had seen flashes of it since then, the night of the reunion after he had kissed him, outside his airstream as Michael promised him he had never looked away and at Caulfield when Alex promised him the same. But those had just been short moments of the old Alex before the steel gate slammed shut again, before Michael could tug him to him keeping him on his side of the gate. Michael struggled to find the right words, he was never good with them and if there was ever a moment he didn’t want to screw up it was this. Alex on the other hand made his own conclusion about what his silence meant. 

“Look I'm not telling you this because I expect anything, I just wanted to give you the truth. Nothing has to change, we can go back to how we were before tonight, you were right we are making some progress and I really hope we can continue to do that.”

The words sounded tired like saying them was taking all Alex’s energy, He took a wet inhale before continuing his voice thick with tears. 

“We aren't far from my place so I think I'm going to walk.”

Alex turned and placed his hand on the door of the truck.

He didn’t get any further, Alex let out a gasp as Michael's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. He still didn’t know exactly how to put his feelings into words but he knew one thing for certain, he was done with letting Alex walk away. He decided that the best words would be the truth. He used his grip on Alex's arm to tug him to face him, the truck was dark but he hoped the sincerity was clear in his voice. 

“First of all, I'll never be done with you Alex. There may be times I say I am and times I may even think I mean it but I'll never be done with you.” 

Alex hand shook in his, he laced their fingers together and ran his thumb across his palm, he felt Alex squeeze tightly and took it as his cue to continue.

“Secondly, if it's pathetic Alex you may as well call me pathetic too. I knew it was a bad idea as soon as I understood what Maria was proposing we do, but as soon as you kissed me I forgot all the reasons why it was a bad idea and worst yet I pretty much forgot Maria was even there.”

He reached over with his other hand and placed it on Alex's cheek which was wet with tears. He was still expecting Alex to bolt so he was encouraged when he lent further into his touch. It was Alex's turn to break the silence then.

“What are we doing Michael, why can't we make this work? We know it's not a lack of feelings so why is our timing always so off?

With a last caress of his fingers against Alex damp cheek he dropped his hand in favour of bringing Alex hand to his mouth to kiss his knuckles before answering him.

“I don’t know sweetheart; I think we just need to learn to focus on the only thing that matters, that despite all the pain and everything that has happened in the past we want to be together. And that means something”

Alex nodded and reached his hand out towards Michael; he froze before Michael could meet him halfway. The action made Michael’s stomach flip in dread. Not now darlin, don’t bottle out on me now we’re too close. 

Alex’s voice was laced in barely contained panic when he spoke.

“What about Maria?”

Michael let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

“Alex it’s over between me and Maria, tonight proves that.”

Michael had barely finished his words before Alex carried on. 

“She’s my friend Michael, I can't be the reason why you two aren't together”. 

Alex's words made him want to both laugh and cry, his selfless baby was incapable of putting himself first. Even after what he and Maria had done to him, here he was refusing to do the exact same thing back. Michael reached over and placed his finger under Alex’s chin making his brown eyes meet his green ones. 

“You are the reason Alex, you just are and whether me and you are together or not you will still be the reason. Look Maria is amazing and if things were different maybe we could have something. But how could I possibly love her when I'm so utterly and irreversibly in love with you.”

He felt Alex’s exhale against his finger still on his chin and he slid the hand to the back of his neck, tugging gently and bringing Alex easily towards him until their foreheads met. He whispered his next words between them, a gentle caress against Alex’s lips.

“Let yourself be happy baby, let us be happy.”

Michael felt the world stop, it felt like someone had hit pause as he held his breath and waited for the moment where Alex would either crush him or set him free. His heart pounded and he felt Alex’s pound in return like they were trying to match each other's rhythm. 

“Ok.” 

Michael’s eyes shot up and he paused wondering if he had imagined the small sound.

“Ok?”

He asked carefully, “Ok as in yes, we are doing this?”

Alex let out a wet chuckle as his hand went to the back of Michael's neck caressing the skin there with the tips of his fingers making him shiver. 

“Yes, we are doing this and I love you too, god I love you so much.”

Michael’s heart leapt into his throat as they both leapt forward at the same time embracing each other tightly like they both expected the other to disappear at any moment.  
Michael had no idea how long they sat there holding each other in his truck, which had been the site of so many cherished moments of their past. Faces pressed into each other's necks each breathing in the scent of home. Whispering words of love and promises into each other's skin.

Eventually Michael slowly pulled back, placing a gentle kiss on Alex’s forehead. 

“We should get you home baby, you were stabbed earlier you need to rest.”

Alex nodded gently and began to reluctantly pull back as Michael continued. 

“Plus, as much as I plan to hold you all night, I'm sure there are more comfortable places to do that.”

Alex's eyes shot up to meet his, the surprise clearly written on his face.

“You're staying with me tonight?

“You said you didn’t want to be alone tonight, so you won't be.”

Michael answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world and to him it was. 

I thought you had to get back to Maria?”

Michael let out a humourless sound before answering. 

“Me and Maria need to talk, I want to end things properly with her and I want to do that as soon as possible so I can focus on you. But for tonight, I need to hold you while I sleep. 

Alex looked like he was about to object again but Michael beat him to it. 

“Alex.”

He said pleadingly. 

“I nearly lost you tonight, I need this, we both need this.”

After a pause Alex nodded and Michael sighed in relief before turning in his seat to start the truck. As he began driving towards Alex’s house, Alex reached over to lace his hand with Michael’s, he squeezed back happy to maintain some contact, he had no idea how he had gone so long without being able to touch Alex whenever he wanted.  
It wasn’t going to be easy; it never was with them but at least they were on the right track and one thing was for sure.

It would always be worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!!! Yeah wasn't expecting that response so thank you everyone the response was over whelming. It made me write faster so here is chapter 2. This chapter isn't very Maria friendly so if that's likely to bother you then you may want to skip. I kinda used this chapter as therapy because i think the way Maria is being written makes her so unlikable to me and its getting to the point where i hate seeing her on screen so .... this was born, i did however try to also keep as objective as possible, my bestie Sarah who betas my stuff says that came across but lets see what the rest of you think.   
> This chapter was draining to write so i kinda want to end it on a high so if people still don't think it sucks i may add a last chapter.  
> Happy reading, kudos and comments make me happyy!!

As Michael pulled up to the Airstream, he saw Liz pull away. Her car left a cloud of dust in the air and Michael could only just make out Maria’s form through the tiny window of his home, going about a morning routine and making herself at home in Michael’s space. It made Michael’s gut twist partly in guilt and partly because it was so blindingly obvious to him now.

She didn’t belong there. 

Now he had let his anger and fear go, the sharp contrast in how this picture felt in comparison to the rare times he convinced Alex to stay awhile was almost tangible. He never wanted Alex to leave and, in those moments, he could clearly picture them sharing a home together, one that was theirs and not just one that the other came to visit.   
When Maria was there, he felt...... suffocated like the already small space was getting smaller.

He had excused himself as soon as they had arrived at Alex’s place last night to call Liz and ask her to go over to his place and spend the night with Maria. Liz had begun to question his request but at his plea to just do it she had agreed, though he thought he could hear the accusation in her voice that came with the knowledge that he had hurt her friend... or was about to. However he was glad that she had kept her word and Maria wasn’t alone last night after her and Alex’s ordeal.

It was then Michael noticed he was still gripping the steering wheel in an iron vice grip, a clear sign of the anxiety he felt about what he was about to do. Maria was going to be pissed and Michael knew she had every right to be, he had told her he would be right back and instead chosen to follow his heart and spend the night with Alex. 

If you looked at it from Maria’s point of view, he was scum and he knew it, the gesture of sending Liz round to be with her was nothing in the grand scheme of the situation. Michael knew that he probably should have gone straight back to her after dropping Alex off, given them both closure on their relationship, so they could move on, but yet the simple fact remained. 

Nothing was tearing him away from Alex last night.

Alex had confessed to him last night that not only did he not want to be alone, but he wanted to be with Michael. The fact Alex had admitted this at all was huge, Alex had been brought up to never show weakness, showing weakness got you a beating and admitting you needed someone's comfort was as far as Alex was concerned a definite show of weakness.

So yes, Michael would deal with all the anger and accusations Maria would throw at him now if it meant he had given Alex that last night, and could continue to do so every night beyond for as long as Alex would let him. Hell, she could have him hung, drawn and quartered in the town square and he would still make that same choice over and over again.

The thought of Alex lessened his anxiety considerably and he felt his mouth begin to turn upwards as he thought of the night they had shared. They had made a silent agreement that being any more intimate than cuddles were not on the cards. not until he had squared things with Maria. To his surprise that had been easy to stick to, he was more than content simply to have him in his arms. 

In the past whenever he had been with Alex, there had always been a sense of urgency about it. When they were young their raging teenage hormones coupled with the constant fear of being caught had meant they always felt the need to tear each other's clothes off as soon as they saw each other, in fear they would never be able to be that close again. When Alex had come back from war Michael had used sex as a way to remind Alex of how he could make him feel, it was about consuming Alex as soon as possible before the voices in his head that told him he shouldn’t be with Michael took over once more. 

They had never felt they could just …. be. No reason to rush, no reason not to believe they had all the time in the world, the ticking clock had gone and the realisation of that made Michael want to sob with joy. 

As he had promised he has spent the night holding Alex close to him, tangled together in Alex’s bed. A couple of times during the night he had felt Alex stir and begin to whimper but he had managed to sooth him before he woke fully by pulling him closer and whispering that he was there into his ear. 

He had woken this morning before Alex which was unheard of and a sentiment to how exhausted Alex must have been. Michael wondered how long it had been since Alex had slept so soundly, he himself had to admit he couldn’t remember the last time he had. He had taken the rare opportunity to watch Alex, his expression so open and relaxed in sleep and he felt his heart swell to bursting point at the sight.

He could have happily have stayed there all day holding and watching Alex as he slept but he knew he had put off the conversation he was about to have long enough, he owed it to Maria to not make her wait any longer than he had already. So, he had lent forward and pressed gentle kisses to the bridge on Alex's nose, making him sigh in his sleep until his eyes had fluttered open to focus on Michael. Michael saw the look of relief in Alex’s eyes before it had turned to joy and Michael had to wonder if Alex had believed he would wake up to an empty bed and find that Michael had gone back to Maria. The thought made Michael sad and he knew he likely had some work to do to make Alex trust he wasn’t leaving him, that was ok though Michael would do whatever it took to make him believe that.

Michael had started by whispering “I love you” delighting at how the three words had made Alex smile before he whispered them back against Michael's neck. 

Despite hating to burst the perfect bubble they were in, Michael knew he had to so he told Alex he was going to talk to Maria. He felt the way his words had made Alex stiffen in his arms and he had cupped his face and brought his eyes to meet Michael’s putting as much sincerity into his voice as he could.

“Hey, you think now we are this close I won't be back to you as soon as I possibly can? I owe it to her to end it properly so I can focus on you.”

Alex had looked unsure for another moment before he had nodded and pulled away to let Michael leave the bed. He didn’t get very far though because Michael had snagged him by the waist and pulled him back to him making Alex gasp. 

“Besides,” 

He said with a smile in his voice as he placed a soft kiss on Alex's cheek.

“I want this done because I am dying to finally kiss you properly.”

******  
Thinking of Alex this morning and getting back to him so he could kiss and touch him the way he wanted to gave Michael that last bit of courage he needed, so with a last deep steadying breath he got out the car and made his way over to the airstream. 

He knocked gently before walking in so as not to startle her. Maria looked up at him from her place as the small sitting area, her expression unreadable. He stayed where he was standing a few feet away and waited, he wasn’t sure if he should go first or let her speak or maybe just yell. If Michael was honest, he didn’t know where to start. 

In reality, the silence must have only lasted a minute at most, but to Michael it seemed like an age. He opened his mouth to start but Maria beat him to it.

“Well, I wonder where you were last night?”

Her tone was icy and dripping in sarcasm. giving Michael a good idea of Maria’s mood right there, not that he was surprised. Maria was no idiot so it was hardly surprising that after he left with Alex last night and didn’t come back, she knew what that meant.

“I’m sorry.” 

His voice sounded flat to him. Maria let out a laugh that lacked all humour and it made him wince with how harsh it sounded. Her voice was cold as she spoke.

“Sorry for what, leaving me to wonder what the hell was going on with us all night, or for doing it so you could screw someone else?”

“I didn’t sleep with him; I didn’t even kiss him.”

Michael spoke the words carefully; it was true and would possibility be the only accusation she could throw at him right now that he could deny.

“So, what, you played checkers all night, watched reruns of Family Guy?”

Michael sighed; she wasn’t going to make this easy on him, not that she should. 

“He needed me last night Maria, I wasn’t going to leave him.”

“And I didn’t?” She snapped.

That made Michael flinch, and his stomach twisted in guilt at seeing how much he had hurt her, something he never wanted to do. This was his fault; he had used her to try and force Alex out his mind. Not that he didn’t like her, because he did and if Alex wasn’t a factor, he could maybe have been happy with her but the fact remained, Alex was very much a factor. The factor.

“But then again. it just shows me that you have made your choice.... I guess my little experiment worked.”

Maria’s words made Michael's head shoot up, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion, he chose his next words carefully.

“What do you mean by experiment?”

Maria scoffed and looked him directly in the eye, her voice chilly as she spoke.

“Let's just say last night, when we were all together, I could have popped out to do my laundry and neither of you would have even noticed. I always doubted that you were over Alex and last night I knew for sure.”

Michael took a few seconds to process her words before the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks, a sick feeling began to seep into his stomach and he hoped to god he was wrong as he spoke in a whisper.

“The threesome...... you were so persistent......... you wanted to see how i’d act with Alex, to see if I still had feelings for him.”

She remained silent, her glare at him unwavering, and Michael knew he had his answer. 

“How could you?” He whispered.

“How could you? She yelled back at him.

“So, what I throw myself into this thing with you, start falling for you for you just so one day you can decide your done with being mad at Alex and leave me to go play happy families with him? At least now I know before I got in any deeper with you.”

A glass of water on the kitchen counter exploded, spraying water and glass against the wall opposite and Maria let out a little shriek, for the first time since he had arrived this morning, she looked rattled, maybe even a little scared. Michael took a deep breath trying to keep his anger in check. His voice was controlled as he spoke.

“So, everything you told Alex about you just wanting us all to feel loved and safe, that was just a load of bullshit?”

Maria shrugged but averted her eyes from Michael, the only sign he had seen that she felt any guilt over her confession. It was small but it gave Michael a glimmer of hope because currently Maria was acting like a cartoon villain and he didn’t like it at all. Her voice didn’t sound as cold as before but it still had a chill to it.

“No that was part of it too but..... “

Her words trailed off and Michael took the opportunity to complete her sentence, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Just not as big as a perk as the deliberate sexual manipulation.”

He saw her visibly flinch at his words and carried on hoping to further drive his point home. 

“I was so confused when I realised what you were suggesting we do, why you would possibly want that to happen knowing my history with Alex and knowing how Alec has zero interest in women.”

“You seemed pretty into it from where I was sitting......well one of us anyway.”

“And what about Alex? Proving your point was worth you manipulating your friend?”

Maria scoffed.

“Again, didn’t see him complaining.” 

The thin hold Michael had on his patience snapped.

“He was fucking hurt, in pain and didn’t want to be alone and you used that to get what you want, you fucking used him Maria.”

By the time he was done the airstream was shaking and he took a deep breath to calm himself, once he had better check on his emotions the shaking stopped.

“And what about me?” Maria shouted back, tears in her voice.

“What was I Michael an experiment, a way to make Alex jealous so he would decide he wanted you back, a rebound or what, did you ever like me at all or was I just a way to kill time until you could be with him?”

Gone was the cold , dead voice and for the first time since he entered the airstream, he saw the hurt he had caused. Michael took a deep breath, this was all his fault he had hurt them both, he was total scum. Michael took a deep breath and walked slowly over to the small seating area giving her a chance to object if she wanted to, when she didn’t Michael sat down keeping a respectful distance from her. His voice was gentle when he spoke this time.

“It was none of those things, look I liked you, I do like you and when I started this thing with you, I meant it. I wanted to be done with Alex and I honestly thought we could have something, it's just......”

He trailed off and Maria looked at him for the first time in a while.

“You love him.”

She finished for him. Her voice had also taken on a gentler tone though it still wasn’t warm.

“I do.” Michael answered softly.

“I love him, it's been 20 years of loving him and hurting each other but I think we are finally on the same page and we both want it enough now to put everything else aside and try.”

There is was he had put all his cards on the table. Maria remained silent and he waited expecting her to explode, tell him what a jerk he was, curse at him, slap him or storm out but none of it came. She remained silent and Michael was starting to think he wouldn’t get a reaction from her when he saw a tear slide down her cheek. Michael knew better than to try and comfort her so he did the only thing he felt he could offer her at this point.

“I'm sorry I hurt you Maria.”

And he was. He wasn’t sorry he had decided to try to be happy with Alex and he was still angry about what she had done but he was sorry he had hurt her.  
After a beat Maria wiped away the fallen tear with the back of her hand and took a deep breath before speaking. 

“I guess I deserve this, thinking I could take you from him in the first place, it's almost karma that he won, my punishment for being a crappy friend.”

Michael shook his head gently.

“I'm no prize Maria, hell it amazes me every day that two people as awesome as you and Alex will even give me the time of day.”

Maria smiled sadly before something clouded her eyes, she seemed lost in thought for a minute before she spoke in a whisper.

“He is never going to forgive me, is he?” She whispered before carrying on.

“Everything I've done to him, why would he?”

Michael answered without hesitation and he wondered if Maria could hear the obvious adoration in his voice as he spoke of Alex.

“He will forgive you because he loves you and if you're lucky enough to be someone he loves he never gives up on you, trust me I know.”

Maria smiled a tiny smile and silence filled the airstream again before Maria broke it, getting to her feet. 

“I need some time ok?” She asked carefully.

“I think I need you and Alex to avoid the Pony for a while.”

Michael understood and he nodded his understanding, it was the least he could do.

Maria headed towards the door, turning when she reached it. 

“Goodbye Michael.” She whispered.

“See ya round Deluca.” He replied softly.

The echo of the airstream door closing signalled her departure and Michael let out a long breath, feeling totally drained. He wanted a drink and a whole bottle of Acetone, but he resisted instead pulling out his phone, he knew what would work to kill his pain even better than that. 

Alex answered on the fourth ring and his voice instantly filled Michael with warmth and a sense of calm. His voice was gentle in that tone that was especially for his love as he spoke into the phone. 

“Hey baby, fancy some company?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My motivation for this chapter was Heather's interview where she explained that Maria's motivation for the threesome was that she wanted to see who Michael would choose..... yeah didn't like that so this happened.


End file.
